


Conversations

by lita



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 23:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one (or two or three) shots containing conversations between different characters. It can be funny, sad, serious, fluffy, cracky, or any combination. Reading previous part/chapter is not compulsory.  The fourth part (Chapter 5 and 6) in which Neal was having an argument with his father, Regina walked in to question about Henry's parentage. Luckily, Neal's wit solved the problem at least temporarily. Slight spoiler for Lacey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From Bae to Neal

**Author's Note:**

> I assume Neal is Bae. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to "Once Upon a Time". I only own a laptop with the QWERTY keyboard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The origin of the name Neal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for TinkerbellReturns from fanfiction.net to beta this chapter for me!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to "Once Upon a Time". I only own a laptop with the QWERTY keyboard.

"Hey, buddy, what're you doing? Why are you alone? Where is Emma?"

"I always come here when I am sad or when I want to think. Everybody in Storybrooke usually comes here when they can't find me elsewhere. Emma is at the Sheriff station. Isn't she the one you want to talk to?"

"No, buddy. I want to talk to you, get to know you better. May I sit here?" Henry nodded then Neal sat next to him. "If you want me to say 'I will always find you', then you'll be disappointed as that's not my line. I think that line has been trademarked by your maternal grandparents." Neal saw a ghost of a smile in Henry's face so he was at least one-tenth successful in cheering him up. "More importantly, you shouldn't be alone while Cora and Hook are in Storybrooke."

"It's day time and there are a lot of people around so I don't think they're that stupid. Besides, I have Emma, Regina, Grandpa Charming, Grandma Snow, and Mr. Gold to protect me."

A small part of Neal felt hurt with the fact that Henry didn't include him in the list but it really was his own fault. He had not been around so Henry hardly knew him. A larger part thought how messed up their current family situation was. He just found out recently that his father was in this world looking for him and on top of that, he had a son! His poor child was related to almost all important people in the Enchanted Forest. That certainly made him a big target for any enemy. He really needed to find a way to protect Henry.

"Even if that's the case, I think it's best for you to have an adult accompany you at all times."

"Do you think any adult can protect me against magic? If Cora decides to get someone, I don't think having one or ten people around would matter."

Well, Neal conceded that Henry did have a good point. It really pained him that Henry might need magic protection. He must ask Regina or even his papa to help. He'd rather talk to the Evil Queen than his own dad. _How messed up_ _was_ _he?_

"OK, buddy. I'll ask if Regina or Mr. Gold can protect you."

"May I ask you something?"

"Sure!"

"Why do you call your Dad Mr. Gold?"

"That's his name."

"That's not his real name. You know what I meant. Why don't you call him Dad?"

Well, on one hand, he was glad that his kid was smart. On the other hand, it was really difficult to parent a smart kid. ' _How does Emma or Regina do that?_ _' he thought._

"I still can't forgive him for creating the curse to find me."

"But he did that out of his love for you."

 _Oh, Henry_. It must be really great to be so nice and naïve like he used to. "He destroyed a lot of lives in the process. He even brought magic to the world without magic."

"Despite that, you should really forgive him. Perhaps you can guide him like what Belle used to do."

Oh, he just remembered Belle. Another victim of his father's fiasco with Hook. ' _When will the suffering end?_ _' he asked himself, and_ then realized he was doing a bad job consoling Henry as he was more absorbed in his own baggage.

It was Henry who broke the silence. "I'm sure you will forgive him. May I ask you something else? Why did you choose the name Neal?"

Well, he already thought of a spin for this question so he answered readily.

"Do you know the QWERTY keyboard?" Henry nodded. Neal was surprised there was even a computer in this cursed town. How _exactly_ did the curse know the technology and the working order in _this world_?

"You know that the keys 'b' and 'n' are right next to each other, right?" The boy nodded again. "Sometimes when we type in a hurry, we reverse the order of the letters. For example, you want to type the word 'and' but end up with the word 'nad.'"

Again a nod, although Henry looked a bit bored as he didn't know where this story was going. "Well, when a social service guy asked me what my name was, she mistyped my name to 'Nealfire' because of those reasons. Since I got a lot of teasing with my original name, I thought that 'Neal' as the shortened form would be great."

Henry chuckled the first smile that day. "Really, Dad? That's cool!"

He was surprised with Henry calling him Dad for the first time but he wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He was a bit disappointed that Henry was easily duped though. Well, from Emma's stories, the kid believed in fairy tale stories way too easily. Still, he had hoped Henry had gotten the skepticism gene from Emma.

"Do you want to hear the story of how I got the family name?"

Henry smiled (' _the second time!_ _'_ Neal counted) and said, "No, Dad. Your story was good but I know that was not true. I may be naïve but not stupid."

Neal had never felt so relieved in his life. There was hope in Henry. ' _Is this parenting?_ _' he wondered._ It was hard and he just started the day before yesterday. Perhaps he shouldn't be too hard on his Papa. ' _Oh gosh, I started to try to understand him as Henry predicted_.'

"Hey Dad, you smiled," Henry said with delight. "You should do that more often. I can see why my mom liked you."

Neal didn't like the past tense Henry used but this kid was really full of surprises. He was supposed to cheer Henry up but it seemed he himself was happier as well. Wait, had his kid just _tease_ _d_ _him_? "Well, Henry, I'm supposed to make you feel better, not the other way around. What made you come here in the first place?"

"It's my mom. I meant my other mom, Regina. She's tried to change for me. She really has. However, it's very difficult for her. This morning, she had a fight with my mom, I meant Emma." Neal thought that was obvious unless Regina was schizophrenic but he chose not to comment. Henry continued, "She nearly used magic against her. I guess old 'Evil Queen' habits die hard… "

Uh oh, it was a difficult topic to discuss. He barely forgave his own dad for the same reason. _It was_ _going to be a long day!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The next chapter will be about the comparison by Neal and Henry of who was more evil, Rumpelstiltskin or Regina.
> 
> -The origin of Neal's name was a joke as I know that's not the real case. I meant to write this chapter as a crack but it somehow ended up more serious.
> 
> -I plan to write conversation between different characters so any suggestion is welcome for example Granny and Hook. It can be serious, fluff, humorous, cracky, angsty, or combination. With my track record, it tends to end up as humorous but I can try others.
> 
> -Lastly, please leave a review to tell me what you think. I can stop the story if it is not popular.


	2. Parenting 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal and Henry compared whether Rumpelstiltskin or Regina was more evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Meresger from fanfiction.net to point out about the American spelling for mom. This chapter has been betaed by the lovely TinkerbellReturns from fanfiction.net.
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : I don't own Once Upon a Time.
> 
>  **Warning** : Mention of some canon violence

Neal put his hand on Henry's shoulders and drew him closer. "Oh Henry! At least she's trying to change. If she's unrepentant, she won't try to change for anyone. There's always hope when she loves you. People can't change overnight."

"If that's the case, why didn't you give Mr. Gold a chance? He also loves you."

"He must love me so much that he let me go through the vortex alone," he added bitterly.

"He regretted it instantly. He told me on the plane that he had tried different ways to get to this world. He even sacrificed losing his memory finding you. I saw grandpa's fears in the airport and in the plane but he still persevered in finding you."

Neal was surprised at the mention of grandpa. His heart ached to think that Henry must be so lonely that he seemed to accept any family members coming his way, no matter how flawed they were. That must have been the reason why he accepted him readily even though he had abandoned his mom. He didn't deserve Henry's love, he had to earn it.

He also hated to admit that his papa also seemed to have changed but it was a little to late. He then remembered about the curse.

"He created the curse to destroy a land, manipulated and sacrificed countless people to reenact it," he added ruefully.

He felt he was doing a really crappy job at making Henry feel better. He seemed to burden the kid more. However, creating the curse was a big issue for him. It was the equivalent of genocide in this world, which he learned when he was put in school by the system. That was another thought for another time.

"Dad!" Neal's heart still skipped a bit whenever Henry used the word. "I know creating the curse is bad."

' _Understatement of the tricentennial,_ _'_ Neal thought and hated the fact that his mind often went off tangent at crucial times.

Henry continued, "However, he did it out of his love for you. At least he didn't sacrifice people he loved most. Unlike my mom, who activated the curse to destroy my grandma's family. She even killed her own father to do that."

Neal was shocked to hear the last part. He asked quietly, "How do you know that?"

"It was in this book." Henry promptly produced _Once Upon a Time_ from his backpack and flipped through its pages to show him.

' _That kid got really too attached to that book, it can't be healthy to be obsessed with it,_ _'_ Neal thought as he read through the story. _'_ _I need to find some other more healthy materials for him to read._ _'_ He went pale when he read the part where Regina killed her father. His first thought was why that book was rated PG; it should be rated MA at the very least. His first thought then gave way to subsequent thoughts on how to make Henry feel better. He was certain that the comment _'_ _at least you didn't find out that your mom was killed by your dad_ _'_ would fly. Poor Henry had been traumatized enough.

"I'm sure she regretted it ever since. She even named you after him," Neal said lamely as he really didn't know what to say. "At least, she didn't commit any more crimes when she was in Storybrooke."

"She killed Graham," Henry said morosely, "after he kissed my mom, I meant Emma." Looking at his father crestfallen expression, he added quickly, "I'm sure that he was not her boyfriend. She also created an apple turnover containing the sleeping curse which was meant for Emma, but I ate it instead to make Emma believe about the curse."

"Oh buddy, I'm so sorry." He hugged Henry. "It's so brave of you but next time, more planning, and less rash decision-making, OK? I can't afford to lose you."

"OK, Dad. You also need to promise me to let yourself be happy. At least give Grandpa Gold a chance."

This kid really knew how to bargain. There was no mistake who his grandfather was. "Henry, this is not about me. I came here to make you feel better and let's stick to that."

"I won't be happy if my parents are unhappy. And yes, that includes Regina. Why can't we all get along?"

' _I wish life_ _was_ _so simple,_ _'_ Neal thought sadly.

"Henry, adults tend to be less forgiving than children. We also tend to screw up more. I guess we're not as smart as we think." He added with a smile and a playful punch.

Henry giggled and said, "Then why don't you learn to be more like children? I bet Peter Pan and the Lost Boys had more fun."

Neal was shocked to hear Henry mentioned that. The thought of Hook also brought his memory back to his mother and his lonely childhood.

He quickly recovered and said, "I bet they do. However, in the end didn't they choose to come back to our world to grow up?"

"Except for Peter Pan. He stayed on."

He thought the movies got a lot of the details wrong. There was no harm in watching them again. He said, "Well, buddy. It depends on which version of the movie you watched."

"I didn't know there were so many versions of the movies. Shall we watch them together?" Henry said excitedly.

"It'll be my pleasure," Neal answered with a genuine smile. He felt good the second time that day.

He didn't know whether there was any video rental store in Storybrooke. Again, there was always MovieFlix. The marvel of this world.

He often wondered what would happen if he had stayed at the Enchanted Forest, but he didn't regret it. He would have never met Emma and Henry wouldn't exist. Not to mention having the modern technology of this world. Not having ogres was definitely a plus.

"Shall we ask Mom as well?" Henry asked, trying to look nonchalant. Neal knew he had been trying to arrange "dates" between his parents ever since he came to Storybrooke.

"Sure, buddy. The more the merrier."

"In that case, I'll ask Grandpa Charming and Grandma Snow as well," Henry added happily.

"Why not?" Neal didn't realize that happiness was indeed infectious.

"How about Mr. Gold?" Henry added with a wink.

"Don't push it, buddy! I'm sure he has better things to do than watching family movies." Neal added with a wink of his own. Surprisingly, he wouldn't mind it that much if his father really joined in but he had to keep his facade. "Why don't we invite Regina as well?"

"I'd like to. As long as she didn't harm any of us."

"I doubt she would if you were present, Henry."

Henry was quiet.

Neal knew that Henry was smart so he should realize the unspoken implication of his statement. He really wanted to make Henry feel better but he needed to be realistic as well. _Must be the side effect of living in this world for too long._

He continued, "I'm so sorry, buddy. I'm trying to make you feel better. I think I'm not doing a very good job."

"That's OK, Dad." It was Henry's turn to hug him. "At least you tried. That's what is important. I'm really happy now as long as my parents are here."

' _The wonder of being a child, being able to forgive and forget quickly,_ _'_ Neal envied.

Henry added cheekily, "Besides, Emma and Regina didn't get it right the first fifty times either. I'm not sure whether they get it even now."

Neal clutched at his heart with mocking surprise. "Oh, Henry, I'm so going to tell Emma about what you just said. Could you give me more detail for blackmail material?" He produced a pen and a notepad, which caused Henry to giggle again.

At least Henry was happy now. He was not the only one. Henry actually made him feel better. He guessed that was Parenting 101.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -What do you think? Did Neal make a good job given he literally just became a father two days ago? Did Henry giggle too much?
> 
> -I realized there was no resolution about the discussion of the evilness of Rumpelstiltskin or Regina but like in real life, there is no easy way out. We just make the best out of the bad situations.
> 
> -I intended to write it as a crack but somehow it got serious and angsty yet again. At least, it ended with a happier note.
> 
> -I'll write Neal and Tamara's conversation about having zombie apocalypse nightmares next. Please let me know if you have any other suggestion.
> 
> -I plan to come back with the interaction between Gold, Nealfire (hehehe), Henry, and also the Charmings as I'm fascinated with their relationship.
> 
> -Please let me know what you think.


	3. Once Upon The Walking Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal and Tamara discussed about their zombie apocalypse nightmares. This happened before Emma found Neal in Manhattan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own _Once Upon a Time_ , _The Walking Dead_ , and _Shaun of the Dead_.
> 
>  **Warning:** Spoilers for both _Once Upon a Time_ and _The Walking Dead_.
> 
> Thanks to N.a. brun from fanfiction.net to beta this chapter for me.

Neal woke up with a start. He glanced at the clock. It was 2.34 am. _Damn nightmare!_ He didn't want to wake Tamara up so he quietly slipped out of bed and tip-toed to the kitchen to get a glass of water and read the magazine she put on a counter.

He choked on the water when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, honey, I didn't mean to startle you." She slapped his back repeatedly until he finished coughing. "What made you so jumpy anyway?"

"Nothing, it was just a stupid nightmare."

Tamara raised her elegant eyebrows and asked, "Please don't tell me it's about your abandonment issue again! I've asked you to talk to Dr. Young."

"No, nothing like that. Please go back to sleep. I'll come with you shortly."

"You can tell me about it, you know. I want to know more about you. You've talked more about your past lately, That's a good thing as it can heal you."

Neal snorted. He didn't think a 300-year-abandonment issue could be sorted with just a few conversations and therapies. He appreciated her gesture though.

She decided to sit down opposite him. "I'm not going anywhere, so you'd better start talking."

Neal knew that once she put her mind into something, there was no way to stop her. She reminded him of Emma. "OK, I'm so not going there!" he thought.

"Well, I dreamed that I walked into a bar with a friend." He looked at her expression and not surprisingly she looked amused.

She smiled and said, "I thought you said it was a nightmare. It sounded like a good dream. I know you and bars are soul mates."

Neal was embarrassed. Perhaps he shouldn't suggest her to go to a bar for dates so often. He added timidly, "It was during a zombie apocalypse."

"A what?"

"A zombie apocalypse," he replied softly. He thought, "Great, now she'll think that I'm delusional on top of being paranoid. Dr. Young will be so rich treating me alone."

Tamara chuckled and said, "Honey, that kind of dream is not as uncommon as you think, especially after watching a zombie marathon. What happened next?"

Neal loved the fact that she seemed to go along with all his weirdness. That was why he was going to marry her. He continued, "Well, the nightmare was not about zombie per se but about what happened in the bar."

"What? They didn't serve your kind of beer. Oh, the horror!" she mocked.

"No, no, they have different kinds of beer," he added quickly. _Great, now she would think I'm an alcoholic even in my dream_.

"Please pray tell, what was the horror then? Were you attacked by zombies? You know they're not real, right?"

"As I said, there was no zombie in my dream," he defended himself quickly.

"Then how do you know it was during a zombie apocalypse?"

"I just know. Please don't ask me to explain the logic of dreams. Anyway, my friend and I walked into a bar and we found it was already occupied."

"I could understand the horror if they didn't want to share their beer."

Neal gently pulled his hair. It was harder than he thought to explain his nightmare, No thanks to the constant interruption. He'd be the better man and finished his tale quickly. "As I said, there was nothing to do with beer either. I chatted with the people inside. I found out that they stayed in a secure farm nearby with running water and electricity. It was a heaven during the apocalypse. However, when I asked them whether my friend and I could join, they flatly refused. I decided to use some force and a guy shot me in the head. _In the head_. Then I woke up."

"Oh you, poor baby." She hugged him and patted his back. "It was just a dream."

"I know it was just a stupid dream. That's why I didn't want to wake you up."

"It's OK, honey. What's the guy's name?"

"What is whose name?" Neal asked.

"The guy who shot you," she replied coolly.

"I dreamed that I got shot in the head and you asked me the name of the guy who shot me?! His name was Rick. I hope you're happy now!" The last sentence was not necessary, but he was annoyed to be made fun of. He looked at her but was surprised that she didn't laugh, instead she was in deep thought.

It was his turn to be worried. He asked, "Tam, are you OK? What's wrong?"

"No, it's nothing. I dreamed about a guy named Rick as well, in my zombie apocalypse nightmare."

"You had a zombie apocalypse nightmare and you made fun of my nightmare!" He knew he was sulking but he couldn't help it.

"Honey, I didn't make fun of you. I just wanted to make you feel better."

That was true, talking about it made him feel better. He asked, "Do you care to share what happened in your nightmare? Please don't tell me that Rick shot you as well!"

"Oh no, nothing like that. He kicked us out."

"What? Could you please tell me from the beginning?"

"Well, my dream had a lot of zombies in them." Neal hugged her. She continued, "Thanks honey! They were chasing us. I had a brother in my dream. We came across a prison, we cut the fence and went inside. We found out there were already a group of people squatting there. We asked whether we could join them. They seemed to like the idea but needed to ask their leader, Rick, first. Rick came and was about to say yes. Suddenly, he went nuts and waved his gun around. He kicked us out shortly after."

"I'm sorry to hear that, honey. That Rick guy was indeed not very nice. I don't think my Rick and your Rick are the same guy though, that would indeed be creepy." He let her head rest on his shoulder.

After a while, he said, "You know what? Let's go to bed now. We need to work tomorrow. No more zombie marathon before bed. In fact, no more zombie movies except for funny zombie movies such as _Shaun of the Dead_."

Tamara looked at him and said, "Yes, no more zombie marathon. The nightmares induced aren't very nice."

They went to bed. Neal envied that Tamara could fall asleep so quickly. Years of nightmares had caused him becoming a chronic insomniac. He thought, "What a weird coincidence with the name Rick? As Papa said, they was no such thing as a coincidence. He didn't want to think it was fate. That was such a horrible notion that they were fated to have a zombie apocalypse."

He had encountered Neverland, pirates, boys who never age, the land without magic, and The Dark One. However, a zombie apocalypse was a bit too far fetched even for him. It was just a stupid nightmare anyway, less horrible than the one he used to have and still has occasionally.

He then looked at the dream catcher he brought with him wherever he went, smiled, and went to sleep.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I mentioned that I'd write the first interaction between Mulan and Prince Phillip after "The Outsider" in this chapter but I changed my mind. Both actors for Neal and Tamara have been in The Walking Dead so it's too much fun to pass up. Please let me know if you have any other suggestion.


	4. Adopted Mom vs Stepmom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Verbal confrontation between Regina and Tamara in which Regina just found out there were more people to share Henry's love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Once Upon a Time.
> 
> Thanks to N.a. brun from fanfiction.net for betaing this chapter for me.

Regina walked into Granny's and saw a stranger sitting by herself eating breakfast.

"A stranger again! This's atrocious. Swan broke the curse causing all these strangers come into town! Does she think this town is a circus?" she thought angrily.

She put on her best mayoral smile and slipped into the seat across from the stranger.

The stranger looked up, raised her eyebrows and asked, "May I help you?"

"I'm just part of the Storybrooke welcoming committee. I'm Regina Mills by the way, the mayor of this town. I don't remember your name." She extended her right hand and flashed her smile.

"That's because I haven't told you yet. Neal said that this town doesn't have a mayor anymore so I don't believe you _are_ the mayor. In New York, we mind our own business." The stranger said coolly and returned to her breakfast.

Regina seethed. She thought, "How dare she!" Her smile flickered slightly but she continued her charade, "Well, this's Storybrooke and we'd like to know our newcomers."

"I bet you do!" the stranger answered _sotto voce_ but Regina could still hear it.

Regina longed to squeeze this stranger's heart but she needed to get more information first before she acted. She asked sweetly, "May I know your name? Who's Neal?"

"I'm Tamara, Neal's fiancée. Neal is Henry's father so I guess I'm Henry's future stepmother."

"Future stepmother!" Regina was genuinely shocked and really hated the competition. "But I'm his mother."

"Well, according to Emma, you're his adopted mother. She's his birth mother. Hmm, I guess Henry has three mothers, not unusual in the current society," Tamara said with a shrug and drank her coffee.

Regina was still reeling with this new information. She said slowly, "I didn't even know Henry's father is in town."

"I thought you said you knew all the newcomers in this town."

"I do. I know O-, I mean Greg, the guy who crashed his car here. You. And Mr. Gold's son." Then realization hit her and her stomach sank. "Is Mr. Gold Henry's grandfather?"

"It seems to be the case. The other grandfather I believe is called David Nolan. Are you OK Ms. Mills? You don't look so good. Do you want me to order a drink for you?"

"Well, at least she isn't that heartless," Regina thought. She needed a moment to collect her thought. It was bad enough that she needed to compete with the two idiots and Emma for Henry's love. Now his father came into the picture with a fiancee to boot as well! She really shouldn't trust whatever Emma said about Henry's father wouldn't be in the picture. Not to mention Rumpelstiltskin is Henry's paternal grandfather. _How could she compete with that manipulative bastard?_ She walked in here hoping to bump into one of the Charmings to insult but instead she got all this unwanted information.

"I'm fine. It's just too much information to take in," She finally managed to answer. "If you excuse me, I need to talk to Mr. Gold now. I hope you have a nice stay here!"

"Thanks, I certainly will. I've found what I'm looking for here," Tamara said with a smile.

"Which is?" Regina wondered what could she possible find in a small town like this.

"Oh, just some quality time with my fiancé doing some outdoor activities."

Regina didn't think that Tamara look like the outdoor type but she really needed to talk to Rumpelstiltskin first. She would investigate Owen, Tamara, and Neal later. She answered, "Well, enjoy!"

Then she walked out of the door in a huff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I planned to write a big confrontation between Regina and Tamara, then I think Tamara was too smart to show her true color so early. She was just being unfriendly as she understood the Charming-stiltkins didn't like her so she played her card well. I hope Regina is in character here.
> 
> -I forgo writing the interaction between Mulan and Phillip for now as my muse fled.
> 
> -The next chapter contains the confrontation between Regina and Rumple about Henry's parentage.
> 
> -Please let me know what you think.


	5. Pink House and Lacey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal was having an argument with his father, Regina walked in at the inopportune moment to question about Henry's parentage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight spoiler from Lacey.
> 
> Thanks to the lovely N.a. brun from fanfiction.net for betaing this chapter for me.

"Why should you be so stubborn? I have plenty of rooms."

"I hate to tell you this but in a normal family in this world with no magic, or used to be no magic," Neal added bitterly, "Kids don't usually stay with their parents when they reach adulthood. Besides, we're not exactly normal. I don't see us winning any family of the year award anytime soon."

"It's a good thing we aren't from this world then," his father said with a smirk.

"I'm glad you still try to find loopholes in everything," Neal answered dejectedly.

There was a reason why he rarely went to his father's shop. Looking at the objects in his shop reminding him too much of the Enchanted Forest. Besides, they always had this argument whenever they met, which was quite often lately. He didn't think his father was the type to visit The Rabbit Hole or the school but somehow he often met him there by "accident." Emma assured him that he was not being paranoid, Mr. Gold tended to pop up everywhere either helping or hindering her before the curse broke.

"Well, after all I'm a lawyer in this world."

As they tried to one upped each other, they ignored the sound of the door bell. Whoever walked in could wait.

"Why am I not surprised?" Attempting to change the subject, he smirked and asked, "Why is your house pink anyway? I don't think it goes with the whole Dark One's persona. I expected something darker with a lot of leather."

"Don't sass me, Bae. You're confusing my clothing with my house. What happened to my sweet little boy? I'm still your father whether you like it or not. The house color was not my idea, that was totally Regina's."

"I thought you designed the curse! Thanks for that by the way! Way to reconnect with me as I really _love_ magic."

"Oh, my, my, what a lovely reunion I've interrupted." Both of them finally turned their heads to see their visitor and groaned in unison. Regina continued with a smirk, "Rumpelstiltskin, you were not in much control of the curse as you thought."

He answered coldly, "What do you want _Your Highness_? I've really wasted the 'Closed' sign at my door. I should just use a barrier spell against evil witches, it's more effective."

Regina's nostrils flared as she remembered the day of her mother's demise. "Oh, Rumpelstiltskin, you and your little family will pay for what you've done. I'll have everything you denied me. Happiness and vengeance."

He gripped his cane hard. "Don't you dare to threaten my family! I still haven't forgiven you for what you've done to Belle."

"Don't you mean Lacey?" she answered with a smirk.

"You! You!" Rumpelstiltskin conjured a fireball in his hand.

Regina in return also conjured up a fireball of her own.

"Papa, don't. You're better than this." Neal grabbed both of his father's hands and shook his head.

"Listen to your boy! You don't want something unfortunate to happen to your loved one, such as your son, do you? That'll be really unfortunate after what happened to Lacey," Regina said that with a smirk.

"Don't you dare to threaten my son, Regina! I know you don't have any loved one alive." Regina was stunned by his statement. He continued, "However, that doesn't mean I can't make your life a living hell."

Neal looked pleadingly at his father.

"Bae, you don't know what she's done. She locked Belle up before the curse and I thought she was dead. Jefferson released her when the curse broke. That was more than 28 years of imprisonment. Now she triggered her cursed personality."

Neal was surprised with the information and also with his father's reaction. He never saw his father so rattled except when Hordor intended to take him to the battlefield.

"Papa, you promised you'd be a better man. If you can't do it for me, could you at least do it for Belle?"

His father seemed to have calmed down listening to what he said and extinguished the fire. Regina followed suit.

She said, "As much as I'd like to hear your bonding with your son, I came here to ask about Henry's parentage. When are you going to tell me that he's Henry's father?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I apologize to stop so abruptly as I'm quite tired. I'll publish the next one before Lacey airs.
> 
> -I hope I write three of them in characters as they're quite complex. Neal hasn't interacted much with Rumple on screen so it's all guesswork. He hasn't even spoken to Regina.
> 
> -The next part will contain the real argument for Henry's parentage.
> 
> -Please let me know what you think! Thanks.


	6. The Imp's Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal was having an argument with his father, Regina walked in at the inopportune moment to question about Henry's parentage. Luckily, Neal's wit solved the problem at least temporarily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was right, they'd show Regina's reaction about Henry's father in "Lacey". I've seen her reaction to Emma but we haven't seen her reaction to Rumpelstiltskin. Some of the quotes were inspired by that sneak peek. As I promised, I need to write this before the episode airs before it becomes AU. Next time, I'll write something after an episode airs. Less pressure for me.
> 
> Thanks to N.a. brun from fanfiction.net for betaing this chapter for me!

"Your Majesty, as I recall, we were too busy trying to protect ourselves from getting killed. What do you think we should say? _Oh Regina, before you throw that fireball at us, I'd like to inform you that this is Henry's father and also the son of the guy you want to kill. Now, we can resume fighting_."

Regina was speechless and she hated the feeling.

He continued, "Besides, we don't need to report to you who my son has slept with unless you're a voyeur. Do you want to know his intimate detail with his new fiancée as well?"

Neal's face pinked with his father's answer. He mumbled, "Perhaps I should go." He walked toward the door.

"Bae, stay. I think it's time for our uninvited queen to leave."

Regina sneered and said, "Oh, Bae or Neal or whatever you'd like to call yourself, you can run like what your coward father does best. That's what I expected whom Emma chose to bed with anyway. She was as unrefined as I thought."

Neal angered and walked back to his father's side. He replied coldly, "Lady, you've said enough. My father isn't always a coward. He was a loving father once." Rumpelstiltskin was surprised that Bae came to his defense. He continued, "Don't you dare to say anything about Emma! You can insult me all you want but don't you dare to bring her into this. She was innocent."

"If she was innocent, why did she give birth to Henry in jail?"

"It was, it was ... my fault." He lowered his head.

"I expect nothing less from someone like Rumpelstiltskin's son. Where were you in the last ten years? Now you'd like sweep in and play a glorified father for Henry. Stay away from him! You're a bad influence."

Neal stayed quiet as what Regina said hit home. He evaluated whether he'd be a good influence for Henry in the long term. It was nice to be able to give Henry treats, swap fairy tales and play wooden sword with him. But was that enough to be a good father? He didn't exactly have the best role models.

It was Rumpelstiltskin's turn to get angry. He said, "Regina, haven't you hurt enough? He left to let Emma break the curse you casted. His method was wrong but his heart was in the right place. He didn't make Henry think he was insane. He didn't become possessive of Henry and tried to kill his other families to make him love only him."

Regina shook with anger and replied, "Don't you dare to play an innocent card with me! It was _you_ who created the curse to find your bastard son. It was you who gave Henry to me for adoption."

"Oh, dearie. I _never_ say I'm innocent. The difference between you and I is that I own up to my wrong doings and I didn't blame others. If I knew Henry was my grandson, I wouldn't give him to you. I regretted my decision since the day I knew." Neal was surprised with the last statement, he thought his father didn't care much of Henry since they got to Storybrooke.

His father continued,"Don't see you the irony of life wherever you look? I created the curse to find my son. You casted the curse to make Snow White's life a living hell. Snow White's daughter is the savior. The savior met the cause of the curse to produce a boy, who was then given by the curse-creator to curse-caster. The boy brought back to the savior and ultimately acted as the trigger to break the curse. If you don't call it fate, I don't know what that is."

Regina and Neal considered what Rumpelstiltskin said. They knew all the events mentioned but they never put them together in proper order. Hearing them in sequence made them think that life liked to play cruel jokes on all of them.

Regina persisted, "You designed the curse! How do I know you didn't plan the whole sequence of events?"

"Dearie, I only designed who would break the curse and when. I was as surprised as you about the rest of the events. If I knew the outcome, don't you think I would design a simpler and shorter curse?"

Neal finally found his voice and said, "Papa, you're not going to cast any curse again. Not on my watch, I don't care about its length or complexity. No is no."

Rumpelstiltskin smiled and said, "I expected nothing less from you, Bae."

"Well, as cool as it's to contemplate on life's irony with y _ou two_ ," Regina said the last two words with distaste, "It still doesn't solve my problem with Henry. I just got more competition for his attention."

Regina was surprised that it was actually Neal who answered her, "Don't you think Henry have the right to choose who he loves? I know he's capable of loving multiple people. If he loves someone, it doesn't lessen his love for someone else. As my father said, our family was full of love although I think we were incapable of showing and handling it." He took a deep breath and continued, "If Henry can love my father whom he feared, you're way ahead of him. In fact, he still loves you and often mentions about you to me."

Regina softened and whispered, "He did?"

"Yes, especially when I burnt the steak, he'd say that only Regina could cook properly for him. Emma and I should just stay away from the kitchen. He said your lasagna is to die for but I hope he meant it metaphorically," Neal joked.

Regina hid her smile and was happy that Henry did love him.

Neal half-lied, "When I tried to buy some clothes for him, he said that he only trusted your fashion sense, not others." He knew it was wrong to lie as Henry only dislike _his_ fashion sense, not Emma's or Snow's but if the white lie prevented heart ache and killing, _why not_?

Regina said with a smirk, "Oh yes, Miss Swan does have horrible fashion taste. What is with her red leather jacket? Can't she wear anything formal?" Neal bit his tongue so he wouldn't blurt out that he loved her red leather jacket and most of her clothing, they were way better than what she wore in Portland as she could afford them now.

He continued with the truth, "He missed the old Regina, the one who sang her lullaby and stayed with him when he had nightmares. He'd like that Regina back, not the Regina who tried to kill his family. In fact, he'd prefer us not to kill you as well so we are in the same boat. Not that I want to kill you as I still don't know you personally." Regina raised her eyebrows. He realized his mistake and added quickly, "Well, I don't kill people whether I know them personally or not. But I prefer people not to kill me or my family either."

"Are you sure you're the Dark One's son? He didn't make mistakes with words," Regina asked with a smile which she didn't try to hide.

"Well, dearie, he got separated from me for nearly 300 years so there was no time to train him. Don't you dare to taint my reputation with this!" Rumpelstiltskin said that with a mock hurt.

"As much as I was entertained with your jokes and reassurance. I'm still without Henry!" Regina said.

Rumpelstiltskin replied, "You are always the one with the quick fix, aren't you? I don't see there is a simple solution to this."

"Why don't we ask Henry how he feels? We could get together and discuss it properly as the normal proper adults do, " Neal said the last part with pointed looks at both Regina and his father, who looked properly chastised.

Regina thought that spending some time with Henry is better than spending no time with Henry at all. Trying to kill them hasn't worked out so far. She could think of another way but in the mean time she'd play along. She agreed, "It's a deal then."

Neal smiled and said, "Now, you confuse me with my dad, he's the one who makes deals. Anyway, I accept your transgression, it's a deal. I'll contact Emma and her parents."

Regina said, "Thank you!" and was about to walk out the door.

"Regina, wait. I'd like to say thank you for raising Henry for the last ten years when Emma and I weren't around. He turns out great so I guess you did one thing or two right," Neal said that with sincerity.

Regina nodded and walked out the door. She felt an unexpected warm in her heart. She thought, "I guess he isn't as bad as I thought. I can see where Henry gets his wit and his smile."

In the shop, Rumpelstiltskin looked his son up and down.

Neal got nervous and asked, "Did Regina curse me to grow two heads or something?"

"I'm proud of you, Bae. While I enjoy snarking Regina, I know it won't reach any solution. You resolve her anger, at least temporarily, by humor and compliment, not once did you try to resolve it with violence."

Neal pinked again and said, "You know how I feel about violence. You wouldn't be proud of me if you know what I've been up to in the last 300 years."

"Well, I'd like to hear that. Even it if involved _Hook_ ," he said the last part with disgust as if he was a snail to be stepped on.

"It's a long story."

"Well, I've all the time in the world. Why don't you move to my pink house so you could tell me about it every day? I'm sure it won't take 300 years to tell the story."

Neal groaned as their conversation was back to where it started before the interruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Well, what do you think? Are they in character? Please let me know.
> 
> -I've been scratching my head to think how to solve the Henry's parenting problem. I guess compliment will work on Regina. As people are either afraid of her or being antagonistic, I guess humor may work, perhaps not in the long term but at least temporarily. After all Neal managed to sweet talk the state trooper not to fine them.
> 
> -I'm also contemplating of writing crack about Hook's trying to get some insurance. We know how accident prone he is so how well can his talk to the agent get?
> 
> -I've decided to write the SwanFire part in a separate story. It's titled "How to Break Tamara's Spell aka Operation SwanFire." It's a crack SwanFire story with plenty of bantering and some angst.

**Author's Note:**

> -I plan to write conversation between different characters so any suggestion is welcome for example Granny and Hook. It can be serious, fluff, humorous, cracky, angsty, or combination. With my track record, it tends to end up as humorous but I can try others.
> 
>  
> 
> -Lastly, please leave a comment to tell me what you think. I can stop the story if it is not popular.


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